A naked soldier with his clothes on

A new commando has been created that carries out missions in the nude.

The new Starkers Commando has been found to be most effective in its recent campaigns.

Major Ronald McBurger-King explained yesterday, “Our funding was cut back in the recent Budget, making it impossible for us to buy bullets. So I came up with the idea of saving money on kit to afford them. We thought it might cause a few problems, but in actual fact the new look has greatly improved performance.”

In a recent raid in Fallujah, the new commando successfully neutralised fifteen insurgents without loss of life on either side.

Private Melvin Turquoise stated, “It’s funny. Contrary to what you might think, morale is extremely high with the lads. Willies can make some interesting shapes when moving at pace. The only downside is when the helmet gets caught on some brambles or something.”

Ministers are considering introducing the policy to the rest of the British Army.