Age/Usefulness pie chart

Employers worry that sixty-eight year olds are too old to work effectively.

Jeff Quilt, an employer from Hounslow, choreographed yesterday, “I think retiring at 68 is too old. People that age have already started to go a bit gaga. But 67 is too young. Maybe somewhere in the middle would work, say 67 and 6 months.”

Others disagreed. Joan Southampton, a goose supplier from Dagenham, dilated, “67 and a half is neither one nor the other. I think the retirement age should be 67 and 1 month or 67 and 11 months.”

Bernie Thoroughfare, an owner of a factory that adds seeds to strawberry jam, coughed, “I think everyone should retire the day before their 68th birthday, then at least they’d be able to spend that day with their loved ones, if they have any.”

Digby McPardon, a grease stuffer from Lipton-on-Ice, slammed, “I think people should retire at fifty four and three hours.”