The Imposter

• Cat From theimposter in The Imposter (1050 days old)

  A black cat was sitting on a mat. Up in the sky fluffy clouds drifted by, causing the cat to reflect on the meaning of his life. His paws felt strange. It was as if they were hanging off him like l… more

• Wayne's on Wayne's off, Wayne's on Wayne's off From theimposter in The Imposter (1255 days old)

  Wayne-san England’s World Cup hopes are in tatters this afternoon after it emerged that the FA mistakenly employed Gizmo’s shopkeeper instead of Mr. Miyagi to assist with Rooney’s fitness prepara… more

• The unlikely face of Crime From theimposter in The Imposter (1438 days old)

  An artist's rendition of a plumber Police find link between skilled workers and serious crime. This week Kazi Nurur Rahman, a plumber from London, was arrested under the Terrorism Act for po… more

• Dead gays can Rest in Pink From theimposter in The Imposter (1438 days old)

  Gays celebrating the new law yesterday Gay funerals become legal in the UK. The new law, which will come in to practice on 19th December in England and Wales and on 20th December in Northern I… more

• Most gamers won't get a life From theimposter in The Imposter (1442 days old)

  Happy shopper - one of the few American gamers to get his hands on a life Microsoft confesses that it has not supplied outlets with enough lives to meet demand. Teenagers, pot-heads and out-of… more

• Sentamu felt the luck last night From theimposter in The Imposter (1442 days old)

  Archbishop Sentamu dances with the cast of The Lion King at York minster The cast of The Lion King almost ruined John Sentamu’s instillation last night as the new Archbishop of York. Sentamu, … more

• Over the hill at 67 years, 4 months, 3 days and 2 hours old? From theimposter in The Imposter (1443 days old)

  Age/Usefulness pie chart Employers worry that sixty-eight year olds are too old to work effectively. Jeff Quilt, an employer from Hounslow, choreographed yesterday, “I think retiring at 68 is … more

• Farting - harmful to the planet From theimposter in The Imposter (1444 days old)

  Methane - probably everywhere Tony Blair announces plans to cut methane emissions by 10% by 2012. The plans come after the publication of a scientific report on Greenhouse Gases which names me… more

• Past Tory leaders take the Greenpeace out of Prime Minister From theimposter in The Imposter (1444 days old)

  Ian Duncan Smith MP giving Michael Howard MP a leg up yesterday Past Conservative leaders find new way of getting to Prime Minister. It emerged last night that the supposed Greenpeace hecklers… more

• Army bosses tell soldiers, "Show your privates, Private!" From theimposter in The Imposter (1445 days old)

  A naked soldier with his clothes on A new commando has been created that carries out missions in the nude. The new Starkers Commando has been found to be most effective in its recent campaig… more

• OPINION From theimposter in The Imposter (1448 days old)

  by Brunehilda Puddleduck I have something to say. You won’t like it but I’ll say it anyway. It’s about love. Love for another human being can be bad sometimes. There, now I’ve said it! I kno… more

• State schools - unfair to toffs From theimposter in The Imposter (1448 days old)

  Etonians - some of these boys may be exceptionally dim Study shows private school students in a bad light. A recent report has shown that independent schools offer a higher standard of educati… more

• Evans agrees with Evans From theimposter in The Imposter (1449 days old)

  Evans - not a pretty sight Chris Evans lets slip his courting secrets to the world. During an interview with The Imposter, the ginger-haired empresario commented on Mr Justice Roderick E… more

• OPINION From theimposter in The Imposter (1450 days old)

  By Brian Turbulence It’s been a long week. That it has, that it has. It rained on Tuesday. Just for a bit, mind. But it definitely rained. Storm clouds were brewing that day. I knew storm c… more

• Delia's guide to home vaccination From theimposter in The Imposter (1451 days old)

  Delia Smith bringing some deoxyribonil silicone sulphate solution to the boil Delia Smith has come to the aid of thousands of potential flu sufferers. The TV cook has turned her skills to help… more

• OPINION From theimposter in The Imposter (1451 days old)

  Sir Bernard Forsquith-Montague, all round cad and shagger of the stars has been given a page of the Imposter just to vent his feelings on a weekly basis. Woof and how’s that? Lock up your da… more

• Non-stop boozing "will change lives for the better" From theimposter in The Imposter (1452 days old)

  What all women look like after a few hours of non-stop boozing English binge drinkers look forward to a more stylish, continental lifestyle. New drinking laws will enable pubs to stay open… more

• Sunnis smell smoking underwear From theimposter in The Imposter (1453 days old)

  Has Imam been telling these? Imam Swishbag-Swishbag-Ul-Muesli-Bowl, a leading Shiite cleric, dismissed claims that they would exact revenge on Sunnis in the new democratic Iraq. He said … more

• Important relic stolen from under Russian Secret Service's nose From theimposter in The Imposter (1453 days old)

  Hitler, with moustache still attached Russian Security Service is embarrassed as exhibition loses Adolf Hitler’s moustache. The moustache was bein… more

• Prince Charles retires from Polos From theimposter in The Imposter (1455 days old)

  The Prince enjoying his favourite mint Prince Charles announced this morning that he had given up his long-standing hobby of eating Polos. In a written statement he claimed, … more

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